where i have been and where i am going

Ok people so I am doing this off of my phone right now so I hope it comes out looking decent on the web lol but damn life has been good these past couple of months only thing I can really complain about is being out of work so that leaves me broke. Its true the recession is really affecting everyone but hey I'm good no biggie just no more vacations. my mother already warned me (caribbean parents warn, they don't tell or ask...lol) that I will not be going to ny this summer and I have to cut down on my trips and shopping. I didn't think it was possible to tell a twenty year old what she can and can't do but then again my family is the exception to almost every rule. Last semester was great for me I made all A's and B's so I was very proud of myself and this semester is looking about the same I am finally ready to apply for nursing programs but I have missed a couple of deadlines so that suck. Ewww now to the nasty stuff lol nah not really nasty anymore but to the men in my life I have cut back A LOT. I am a one man woman now and I am happy. He makes me happy ( let's see how long this will last) but he is good to me so i am not complaining. As for Channing we obviously are no loner seeing one another. Us being ten years apart was a big deal as much as either of us wanted to admit it but the age difference def put us in different stages of our lives especially with myself being only twenty. He wanted to have kids and be married within a year and that just wasn't something that I wanted. At least not now so we split. We kind of just dissolved within 24hrs lol but for real it was one day we were talking next day we weren't I wasn't shocked its funny cause it really didn't bother me. I honestly was suprised that he wanted all that from me. Now don't get me wrong I know I am a great woman and I know my self worth but we had been speaking since I was seventeen and he never asked any of that of me or from me up until our last maybe five months he just changed. I didn't like the change I was cool with the excitement. The crazy sex and outrageous adventure. Plus he sometime fell into these daddy moods that wasn't rocking with me so that was that. Now Terrance he is just sad after all the bitches he called me lol and all the threatening he did he still tried to get back with me. I am amazed he had the balls. I give it to him he is one brave monkey. But I'm no silly girl I don't play the games so I told him to keep it moving. His "baby mama" still running her mouth but that's cool with me I just feel sorry for their child. I feel sorry for her, how can someone beat you almost everyday and you stay. Omg people do you know that after he threatened my life and cursed me out he had the nerves to call me not once, not twice, but three times to bail his ass out of jail for guess what? Fucking her up. Lol plz I ignored him.. Lol the last time he cursed me out cause I didn't help him talking about he gonna punch me in my face, shit he must think I'm his baby mama. Charles finally got the hint and stopped calling me. Thank gosh cause I was really feeling vioated but its like get rid of the old bring in the new cause now its some dude name Joseph that be riding mine. Damn he won't leave me alone and being nice don't seem to work with his ass. Anyway Charles wanted to make me one of his wife. People I was not going to be the only one. He already had one back at home in Africa. I told him no thank you to be honest I didn't know they still did that but clearly they do. He got mad one night cause he wanted to take me to dinner and then go to a hotel. I told him no offense but I'm not going to a hotel. Lol that was the end of that. And Barrie oh lawd I see him everyday and everyday I pass him like he don't exist not after all the rumors I heard about him on campus. Ill pass... I'm not trying to catch shit from no body especially in Carrollton I am not fucking with it. Heard they have the highest cases of AIDS in Georgia so my legs are crossed and I'm good. Shit if I need excitement I will go to walgreens and get me a pack of batteries... Haha please my damn self with no strings attached. And now to my happy ending. I am with Blake (this is not his real name but thats what i will be using for the blog now. Finally thinking about comitting but I am not too sure about that... I am still thinking about us and if there is still a future for us, but I do care about him a lot. I have told him I cared but I haven't told him yet that I love him. I think if I do things will change like admitting that will just up the game so I am holding off on that for at least another year lol. But he did tell me he loved me about four months ago and I didn't know what to say or how to react. To be honest I still haven't responded to it lol I know its bad but I'm scared. I spent my entire winter break with him, we had a blast. I was sad when I had to go back to school. Those four weeks with him couldn't have been any better. Well its almost five I need to go to bed for class in a couple of hrs good night readers