Fw: 5 am

Its five in the morning and I'm laying in the dark listening to chrisette michele and lyfe jennings. There is so much on my mind right now that's its clouding my vision to the point where nothing makes sense. I can't pick apart what's priority at the moments its like everything is jumping out at me the same time with the same force. Anyway in due time I will figure it out. What is weird to me is that as much as I have going on in my mind right now I am still blank. I guess my mind feel blank because it can't diffentiate between things at the moment, hell I don't know. All I know is that I am confused. One thing for sure is that this late night stuff is ridiculous. I am in diar need of some sleep. Four hours is not cutting it anymore. I feel like I wil sleep for a week straight the next time I close my eyes. Arghhh its annoying. Between school, home, personal relationships and my endless quest for a job I don't know my head from my ass anymore. I just feel emotionally drained. my life is not a bad one I will be the first to admit that I am fortunate and blessed but at the same time my commitment to being 100 percent independent is not making things easier its like my parents always tell me they are here for me and focus on school I don't need to work they will cover me financially until I am done with school because that's the most important thing but I feel like a squater, smoocher, and still a child sometimes when I find myself asking them for things. It shouldnt be that way. At least I don't think so. I know its just me being hard headed but sometimes I want to be able to give them something instead of being the one that's always taking. Anyway my doctor gave me some sleeping pills to help with my sleep. it has definitely become a problem three to four hrs a day has taken its toll on me. The pills has been in my bag the last two weeks since I have received them. I haven't taken them yet, I am hesitant. I was told the firsdt time I take them I will sleep for about 14 hours straight. The thought of sleeping for so long scared the crap out of me. I told myself that I will just wait till the day after my last final to take them, so that's what I will do... Well I'm getting sleepy now (finally) so I'm putting the crackberry down. Goodmorning.

*and oh yeah this was written on my phone, so don't judge...lol*