anxiety

lately i have been so stressed out and anxious.. my mind keeps racing and i dont know what for. its like my mind is racing my body, i know my doctor said anxiety is a mental thing that turns physical and i didnt know what the heck he was talking about until this week. my anxiety has turned into a physical problem. my chest is heavy, i keep crying, the walls on every wall even places that have no walls such as outside and the sky feels like they are closing in on me. im trying to control it but nothing is working, i tried counting back slowly from twenty that didnt help. i finally had to take my anxiety medication, all that did was put me to sleep but the moment i woke up my mind began to race again. i dont know whats wrong with me, maybe its more than anxiety. all i know is that i hate this feeling. i hate being stressed and i hate being so anxious. i wish my family understood or at least try to but they dont. i been asking my sister since wed to mail out this book for me that i sold on ebay, its now sunday and she still hasnt mailed it out. she dont care. and when i say something about it she wants to jump down my throat "well your dumb ass should of mailed it out before you left" i would of if she didnt offer to do it for me the next day.. wtf. you offered... then she screams at me about some shit thats not even my fault. im not home anymore and im still being yelled at. i dont get it.. *shrugs* yesterday i spent the entire day in bed. not moving nothing. i didnt get up until t came over and after he left i went right back in bed. i hate this feeling.. i hate it. sometimes its so hard for me to relax my mind and settle, to go to bed takes me about an hour and a half after i lay down to finally sleep. my mind... its a beautiful thing but sometimes it gets the best of me.

1 comments:

Miss.Fortune January 10, 2010 at 7:17 PM  

sometimes we need those days to ourselves..
i call that.. ME TIME!

it helps to get away from noise, drama, ppl..

gives you a chance to clear your head and do what you love.
be yourself while nobody is watching!

i get anxiety bad so i know exactly what you are going through

stay strong