its simple right?! stay or leave

i was over at the makings of me! by the lovely daja (check her out) and she has posted a new poll question && it reads this: catch your partner cheating... (option 1)i would leave (option2) i would stay and work it out...
i was attempting to vote on her question but i couldnt.. now some might be thinking wtf you mean you couldnt its simple either leave or stay.. and then some might be like wtf you better leave that nigga... for those who think it is that easy to answer or who can make a decision without hesitation i dont think you have truely been in love. now i will be the first to tell you that i used to be one of the main people with hands up in the air waving the finger talking about "it aint nothing to think about, leave him he aint shit" but its no longer that simple of a question to answer... to me its not that cut and dry. now some might find me stupid for saying this but oh well we all have our flaws. life has taught me that different situations call for different resolutions. the act of cheating may or may not be the same but the person behind the act has to be taken into consideration as well. cheating is not just physical it can be emotional as well. often times people associate cheating with strictly the act of having sex with someone else and its not. just because you cant see it does not mean its not going on right in front of you. i always wondered why some people get so upset when their partner physically cheat (have sex) with someone else but thinks nothing of it when they emotionally cheat.
hell anybody can study the body of someone else (hell i been doing it for three years with all this biology, chemistry and anatomy) but it really takes a special person (or at least someone close to it) to study the mind. our bodies are exposed everyday but our mind, our minds are closed. not everyone can access it on sight. if you ask me emotional cheating is worst than physical cheating. anyone can have sex if they want. some of the ugliest people be getting play. nowadays people have nsa (no strings attached) sex, friends with benefits, one night stands, etc. so anyone can have sex but not everyone can emotionally, pyschiologically, and/or intellectually explore another being. but thats just my two sense.
ive been cheated on before, first person i was real quick to leave. it was easy for me to leave because it just was (now i know its because i really wasnt into them but back then you couldnt tell me no different)i was young so (i still am but i was real young) and i knew it wasnt going to last forever so there was no fooling me, but the last guy i was with, j he cheated on me and i stayed. i stayed because i really did care about him.. i stayed because i didnt want to leave him. i loved him. i found out about j cheating and it hurt me it really did we took a break from one another but were back together in less than three months. i let him go.. i told him to be with her, he did him and i focused on me. and in less than three months he was back asking for a second chance and i gave it to him. why? well because i knew that what he had with this chick was physical and nothing more, you cant hold onto a man for too long when you have nothing to offer but sex, there is nothing to keep him and i knew this... that is why i let him go because i know the type of person i am and i know that i can offer so much more. and i was right.
&& i wont sit here and lie. anyone i have dated these past four years (minus j) i cheated on with T. i will be the first to admit my wrongs. i have done my dirt but im human we all do somethings we arent supposed to. but in doing so i did let them know that i had just broke with him or i was dealing with this guy that i wasnt completely over, they chose to continue to "try" to take my mind off of him. they all failed.
but anyway im going off to a different subject.. what you do after you find out that you have been cheated on is not always simple. some you can just up and leave others may not be so easy. many things factor in for me at least it is. and its not fear of being alone or not loving myself enough but its working on something that can maybe be fixed, or at least the hope that i can. its knowing that we all have faults and no one person is perfect... its knowing that i to have made my own mistakes and from those mistakes i know that "once a cheater always a cheater" is not true or that people dont cheat simply because they dont love you... often times it has nothing to do with love.. sometimes its people own selfishness. but like i said before, cheating is multidimensional and for me the question: what would you do if you were cheated on? cant always be answered right away or easily...
what do you think???

1 comments:

Miss.Fortune February 18, 2010 at 4:02 PM  

you basically nailed it..lol so i really dont have to write on that topic..i might just tell your story (with credit of course)
=)

crazy cuz i was gonna touch basis on how i've been cheated on and A)left once B) stayed..
emotional cheating vs. physical cheating..etc.