GOLDEN MIND: out of control

Showing posts with label out of control. Show all posts

fuckery of the week

i am so fucking done....

so why my friend hh (thats another post) called me today like hey girl i just got off the phone with say did she tell you wtf has been going on with charmaine ( a name i made up)

ok some background info for yall charmain has been in a relationship with this 34 year old guy name aj since about may. since then she has:

gotten pregnant by him

had an abortion

he has wrecked her car three times

he has hit her in public

spends all her money

he has no cell phone

no car

smokes weed all day everyday

cheats on her and lies out the ass

her parents had her take multiple drug test because they are convinced she is on some heavy duty shit because they did not raise her to be like this

and she has dropped some of her friends for this guy

mind you he is 34 and she is 20. so anyway charmaine finally broke up with him earlier this week on monday (thank God) anyway since then he has been calling her harrassing her saying he is going to fuck her up he is going to kill her all this shit.. dude even read her license plate number back to her and her parents home address (where he has never been before) back to her on her answering machine. yeah like he went off.. i dont feel bad for her because i been told her to leave his ass but she dont listen.. i seen this coming from a long time ago what the fuck is a 34 year old doing with a 19 year old( her age when they first started) and she acts 12 while he acts 14...

this bitch said the reason why she broke up with him is because she looked at him one day and he was all of a sudden ugly (i guess love wore off)

anyway to the fuckery of the story so how she break up with this man on monday and fucking a bitch on wed... now background story to this

last weekend we were celebrating hh moving for the entire weekend from thursday till saturday night.. so thursday we was drinking and chillin and say was like oh my friends are having a party yall want to come so everyone was like cool. i really didnt care because i was drinking and i was drunk and i wasnt driving so i was like fuck it. we had to hop in two cars cause it was a bunch of us anyway we get there and the bunch of "niggas" she was talking about wasnt nigga niggas it was bitches niggas.. a house full of fucking lesbians.. now i have nothing wrong with lesbos but when i didnt sign up for this shit dont throw me into it. she should of been honest from jump...( there is more to that story but thats for a different post) so why charmaine is now fucking with one of the girls that was at the apartment that night.. not only is she talking with this girl she has already had sex with her and she spends all day everyday with her.. she spends the night at this girl house everyday... im so fucking done... that is so fucking nasty... you was fucking ashanti all this time raw and now you fucking this girl raw.. you gonna catch something you tripping... im soo done.

THIS IS THE FUCKERY OF THE WEEK.. AND I HAVE EVERYONE CALLING ME TELLING ME THE PASSA PASSA

bitch please...

... we both got played.

ok so you all remember my ex thing Mr.B that i told you all about in previous post here and here well the fuckery continues. first off its to the point where its like okay its another notch on his belt and another test he needs to take just to make sure his ass is clean. it doesnt really bother me anymore and i no longer feel angry or hurt from it. but its like damn really you cant keep the dick in your pants. anyway recently i was hanging out alot with this girl that i will just call shaneika. apparently shaneika and mr.b had sex as well and all that good shit. i mean when she told me i really didnt care but what made my blood rise a little was the way she went about it. check this out, it was a group of us like eight girls we all sitting and chilling thinking of what to do for the next day and all that good stuff. so we were thinking about hosting a catelian and i had my date and three back up dates lined up, some of the girls didnt so i offered my back ups to them. they was like cool i will take them. so from day one of planning this thing she kept saying im going to ask mr.b im going to ask ,mr.b... everytime she said it im like ok cool that would be cute. no biggie its just a university function. like i said i wasnt stunting it cause im over his ass and the fuckery that comes with him. anyway this particular day we all like shaneika have you asked mr.b yet she like no. so we ask why not, she go on to say she dont know if she wants to take him because it may make other people uncomfortable. me not catching on to where she heading with this is the first one to say why would it make someone uncomfortable who is it going to make uncomfortable. if its not one of us then it dont matter cause its our organization. as soon as i say that this bitch looks up from the table and looks me dead in my eyes. its dead fucking silence in the room. so im like yo why you looking at me like that cause im starting to feel funny. so then she starts with her damn rambling like well mr.b and i used to talk sophmore year well technically it wasnt sophmore year it was that summer between freshman and sophmore year. so im still looking at her like what the fuck this got to do with me and why u telling me this. so to make a long story short she fucked mr.b and she was throwing that shit in my face so when i said nothing about it here she goes.. well xxxx i heard you used to fuck with mr. b to.. so i said in the calmest voice possible bitch i never used to fuck with mr.b. he and i were in a relationship. there is a difference. so she goes on to explain how i had her "sloppy seconds" because technically they fucked during that summer and he and i didnt start dating till that august when fall semester started... BITCH LIKE I GIVE A FUCK. she trying so damn hard to beat me at a competition that she having by her damn self.. at the end of the day BITCH WE BOTH GOT PLAYED... ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT. just cause i had the label of "girlfriend" dont mean shit cause we was both fucking him at the same time and he was fucking other chicks to.. so no one wins and no one lose.. stop trying to fight that shit... but check this: i aint even know chick had an issue with it let alone with me because after them fist three or so times she mentioned it she never said anything else again. then the other day im talking to my homegirl b.wil and b.wil tells me that shaneika never mentioned it to me again but that she was always mentioning it whenever they were together and she was pissed that at the time he aint want to make her his girl but he wifed me. first of he aint wife me cause i dont have no damn ring on my finger i was simply his girlfriend. second of all what u mad for? that shit was two years ago.. really??? it bother you that much?! damn so how about you just turn back the hands of time by your damn self and change that shit cause i dont have the time. not only is she mad at him but she is apparently jealous of me and now dont like me because she had to find out about he and i from me and i took what she wanted and all this other shit. first off if you cant tell me your damn self then its irrelevant and we dont have shit to talk about. secondly what does it matter? why are you mad at me? i dont owe you shit.. BITCH WAKE UP WE BOTH GOT PLAYED. yeah i was his girl but he was fucking you, so i, in no way came out on top in this situation. honestly i dont give two shits about it anymore.. well i dont care about mr.b and what he sticks his dick in or what he do on his own time. but for shaneika to say she dont like me off some dude when first i aint even associate with her back then so i dont owe her shit plus he is the one that deceived her not me, its like heffa please shut the fuck up.. cause to me thats just stupid.. and you telling other people how you feel about me instead of being grown woman about yours and coming to me. i have no respect for that shit. none at all. honestly at the end of the day i give him his props and respect cause he played half a campus of females and did that shit without anyone finding out until two or so years later... nothing but props cause he deserve that shit... but for her all i have to say is get over it cause WE BOTH GOT PLAYED... clearly you more than me since you still hurt...lol.. my ex man was a cheater and still is a cheater, i dont have to live with it cause we are no longer together, but reality is he does not care about anyone enough to be faithful to them (at least during this stage of his life) it dont bother me because i have moved on. but man is shaneika one silly hoe.. and im done.

WE BOTH GOT PLAYED!!!

nasty

i was speaking to a fellow classmate yesterday and she informed me that she too used to "talk to" my ex and that they had sex... hmmm this is like the fifth person and we all know one another. this is ridiculous.. then on top of that another female over heard us speaking and she notified us that he had sex with her old roommate... i came to one conclusion.... HE NASTY AND WEST GA IS TOO SMALL

dry spell

i haven't had sex in over a month... this is ridiculous... last time i had any action was before my birthday so that was in august. it is now october... arghhh so not cool. there is but so much a porno and my personal friend can do before i need the real thing. but this is a personal problem i know. i have been too busy to have sex, school work and school... and again... school.. work and school it never ends. i study my school work like crazy now its time for me to study the human body again cause i do enjoy that. used to be my favorite subject lol.. ok getting too much in tmi mode.. but def need to do that as soon as possible... was planning on this weekend but HE and i got into an argument last night and now he is upset with me.

speechless

i dont know what to say... but ummm you be the judge

this is the result

of the storm that hit atlanta.... my living room floor is ruined. and home owners insurance says they do not cover floods because georgia is not a flood zone (bullshit anywhere on earth is a flood zone, if it can rain it can flood) and my mom call the builders (ryland homes) and they said the floor is not under warranty for foundation... like what the heck.... the water only came through the floor so it has to be the foundation. but anyway we are left paying out of pocket to replace the entire family room floor.

friendship has no color

i am aware that there are people in this world that are ignorant. no two people think alike and not everyone will always agree on certain things, especially sensitive subjects such as race, i am aware of this. i can tolerate difference. i can tolerate someones opinion (even if i may not agree with it,) what i can't tolerate though is ignorance.

for the first time in a long time i felt heartbroken today. not because of something a family member or friend did to me, but because of what a stranger said to me. i never felt so crushed before i have cried over a break up or other simple things. ive cried. but today i was so hurt and mad that not one tear fell from my eyes.

today i was in the health center at my university and i ran into one of my friends loren (pink shirt in pictures on top) since loren and i have both been extremely busy i havent seen her in a while but we still call and text one another at least once a week to check on one another. anyway we were in the health center and suprised we ran into one another so we hugged one another and was talking all of a sudden someone says " oh my gosh, what the fuck" of course i did not think the comment was towards us cause all we were doing was hugging and talking. so loren and i continue to talk and the same voice says to another person "do you see that shit, what the fuck is she doing hugging that black girl, west ga need to stop admitting these people." ok at this point i knew exactly who she was talking about... ME... i was disgusted... excuse me how dare you call me "these people" and what is wrong with us being friends. i have never been so disrespected, and infront of a room of like 60 people. it wasnt the fact that it was in public, it was the fact that she felt the need to say what she said and its sad that she feels that way. loren apologized to me for something a stranger to both her and i said, she felt the need to because they were both white. i told her it was not needed, skin color does not mean that any two people are the same. i dont want anyone to apologize to me or feel bad for me because i dont feel bad for myself, its the reality of the world we live in, but i just thought that in 2009 we will be striving towards progress but it feels as though as a society and nation we have been stagnant

although i am upset and mad as ever i honestly feel for her. someone who can be so evil and dark seriously needs help. how could you look at me and automatically assume that because i am black i can only be friends with those of my own race. i thought the purpose of college was to experience new things, expand your horizons && meet new people, but ever since i have started college it has been the complete upset. people out here in this small town are so closed minded its scary.

friendship is not defined through color. i am embrace everyone and thankfully i have been blessed enough to come across enough people who have embraced me regardless of my skin color, but unfortunately there are still people out there who can't open their hearts to except people regardless of differences.

*pictures on top are of my sister, loren, sar, bec and myself... and guess what they are some of my closest friends*

weave removing at applebees

pic #1: cess sweeping in the back and J assisting sunshine with her hair..

so saturday night i went to the movies with my sister and some friends. it was a fun night. we seen "the hangover" and that movie is funny. you will laugh from beginning to end non stop... anyway after going to the movies we went to applebees to get some drinks and just chill we ended up leaving applebees around two o'clock drunk and full. while we were there my friend sunshine decided that she wanted to get a head start on pulling out her hair for me to do it. but what she didn't take into consideration was the fact that we were in public and in a restaurant. then it gets worst her boyfriend (the white guy in the picture) gets up and starts helping her take her hair out...but the bad part was he used a steak knife to cut the thread....OMG can it gets any worst?! yes it does...ces gets up and starts sweeping the floor talking about they just turned applebees into a hair salon... (falls on the floor...smh) i am done..i cant take no more

*WALKS OUT THE DOOR*